The other day I was discussing work and ideas with my Dad when he brought to my attention that I need to stop doubting myself. That I am putting obsticles in front of me that aren't really there. There is nothing physically stoping me from doing the things I want to do or achieve the things that I want to achieve so why do I stop myself?
I have days when I feel like I can conquer the world and nothing can stand in my way and then I have days that I feel like I can't do it. These emotions and thoughts go through my head of self doubt.. for example some of the things that I say to myself include; Who do you think you are? You can't possibly do that? Look at you, you are disgusting!! Why would any one want to see that?.. The truth is, if I heard someone else saying those things about themselves I would straight away shut them down and say, don't listen to that negativity, those lies, YOU are amazing and incredible. You can do anything you put your mind too, you are strong, you are beautiful and you can do this!
So why when it comes to us we think it's okay to tear ourselves apart. I am not one for making new years resolutions but all for having goals and this year I set out a personal goal to make a concious decision to give myself more self love, more encouragement, find the beauty in me and see the beauty in me not pull myself apart.
It's only week 3 of 2018 and I have already failed over and over again on giving myself more self love. I have found myself looking with disgust at myself, my body, my flaws and breaking my own heart. I have been at war with my own self and it's not okay, all because I found myself looking at others and comparing myself to everyone else around me, not just with how I look but also my parenting, my lifestyle, in business and work. Feeling defeated and like I wasn't like the other incredible business women and mothers I follow. Feeling like what I was doing wasn't good enough. And how can I ever compete with such incredibly gorgeous women?!
Today I realised what I had been doing to myself, it is self distructive and it's not okay. It's the same self destructive behaviour I have been shaking off and trying to get rid of for years. And although I am so much stronger than I used to be, so much so that I feel like I am a new me but then, all of a sudden it's like a brick wall hits me in the face and all these awful insecurities and self doubt take over.
I recognise and can see it happening now and I know I have to make a concious decision to change my mind set, look at the positives, the beauty in my life and the blessings in my.
I train hard, I work hard and I love hard, I look after my body and my beautiful boys, I create. design and work hard for my business and our family, that's who I am. I am striving to be the best, happiest and healthiest version of me that I can be and that is something I should being proud of.
So if you have been feeling the way that I bave been feeling lately know that you are not alone and even when we are feeling on top of the world self doubt and insecurities can still arrise.
We are all gorgeus and unique in our own way and it's not up to others to change the way we feel about ourselves it's up to us. I am still striving to give myself more self love, to embrace who I am, where I am and how far I have come. Let's start enjoying this journey of life, of where we are and where we are going and be proud of all the amazing things in our lives that we have already achieved and are yet to achieve and accomplish. Lets stop comparing ourselves to others but strive to be the best, healthiest and happiest versions of ourselves that we can possibly be. We are never going to be the same as the next person because we are who we are.
Let's stop being our worst enemy and start being our biggest fan, let's stop putting obstacles in front of us that aren't there and push through our insecurities, lets support and uplift each other and realise that we are going to have our good days and we are going to have our bad days that's part of being human but instead of pulling ourselves down and apart when these things happen, take a moment and step back, If there is something you want to achieve but your fears and insecurities are getting in the way? Own it, recognise it and then push through it. Don't let anything stop you anymore, love who and everything you are.
You are beautiful and unique in your own way and that my friend, is worth celebrating!