As a mother, as a woman, as a friend, as a daughter, a sister, as a partner, as a leader, a designer, a business owner and a mentor. It is true that so much judgement comes from ourselves, the part that tries to self sabotage, when fear gets in the way and the " I am not good enough" takes over. The comparing, the self ridicule and never ending battle of opinions from not just those around us but also ourselves.
I had a conversation with a beautiful woman the other day and although she was speaking out of kindness, I couldn't help but feel judged. Judged because of how hard I work and working full time takes me away from being with my kids all the time. That Mr or Nanny does the school pick up and drop off because I work long hours etc.
I felt the need to justify myself when in fact I really didn't need to. The judgement didn't come from her, it came from me!
The reality is, me working full time doesn't make me a bad mum or better mum, being a SAHM doesn't make you a bad mum or a better mum.
Not one is better than the other, it doesn't mean one loves their children more than the other. We are both doing the best we can, being a kick-ass parent to the best of our ability. Our path may look different but is doesn't mean our destination (dream/purpose) to raise healthy, educated, caring, loving, accepting, empowered children is any different.
I believe we all come from different walks of life and what may work for another family may not in fact be beneficial or work for you.
What I have learnt is that accepting, acknowledging and listening to better understand is much better then assuming.
What I have learnt is that no family are the same, our circumstances, what works for us, what works for you may be different but it doesn't make one better than the other it just makes us unique.
What I have learnt is that love and kindness goes a long way and there is never enough love to go around.
What I have learnt is that collaboration and celebration is far better than competition.
What I have learnt is that it takes a tribe to raise a child, a tribe of loving, caring and empowered people that have less hate, less judgement and show more love, support and acceptance.
I am learning to be the calm among the storm, to stop, to listen and understand more so that the wall of defense and offence doesn't take place.
To be at peace within myself, to be kinder to myself, to place less judgement on myself, to share more, to love more and be unapologetically proud to be the kick ass empowered Mumma and woman that I am.
Less Judgement, More Love.